I rolled over groaning in pain. Looking at the time on the nightstand it was almost four in the morning. I wanted to go back to sleep, but the pain was more than I could bare.
To make it worse, I talked Josh into going and doing his duties in an place two hours away. He had to be an alpha though. That’s where he needed to be.
Tears formed from the stabbing pain in my lower abdomen. It was hard to concentrate on anything but what was hurting most. Another moan of pain fell from my lips.
Finally, I sat up and flipped the light next to my bed on. Freezing, I stared down at my lap. Blood. So much blood that it was actually forming a puddle.
I finally cried out for the only person I could think of. “Chris!” He had stayed behind.
Still, completely still, I stared in shock. Wondering what the pain was. No where had I read about bleeding during pregnancy but then again I didn’t really read all that much.
Yet, I knew that this wasn’t supposed to happen. Another burst of pain ran through my body and a hiss escaped my lips. My teeth sank into my lower lip trying to keep my screams quiet.
The door creaked open, and Chris stood. His hair was a mess and he was only in his shorts. He stood for a second longer looking over my complexion before a look a worry crossed his face.
Without a second thought he took me in his arms and lifted me off the bed. I knew he knew what might be wrong. The face he made said it all. I cringed as small waves of pain took over.
“Shh Jan, I’m taking you to the pack doctor- it’ll be alright.” He cooed. I shook my head and cried. That’s all I could do. If I screamed how loud I needed to id wake everyone in the damn house.
Instead, I gripped onto Chris’s hand hard as the pain came. I knew I was hurting him- but he took the pain anyways. “It hurts.” I cried softly into his chest.
A small sigh escaped his lips as he continued to walk. “I know, I know.”
The door clicked shut, and the sound of shoes tapping against the floor filled my ears. I tiredly lifted my eyes to the person in the corner but that was about all I could do. They had give me so much morphine and antipain pills that I was drugged to the maximum.
“Hey,” Rena cooed. I looked over at her a gave her a weak smile. She was tired, and I knew it. “It’s four thirty, get some shut eye.” A smile grew on her face and I simply nodded.
I wanted to go to sleep. Part of me wanted to stay awake. I wanted Josh here with me. Holding my hand, talking to me, something. I let out a deep breath. It was like Rena read my mind, “Josh will be here when you wake up Jan, I promise, and if he’s not you can kill me.” She breathed out.
My eyes met hers, and a slow smile grew on my face. “Okay.” I whispered. She had given my hand a squeeze before stepping out of the hospital room.
The hardest part about falling asleep then, was the fact I knew I would wake up eventually, and find out what’s going on.
I had been asleep for an hour and a half before the door creaked open, waking me from what ever dream I was having. Through the dark room, stood Josh.
I breathed his name out. The instant his scent reached me a felt a thousand times better than any medicine the doctor could give me. My eyelashes brushed my face as I let my eyes hood. I was exhausted, but I had to stay awake.
Seconds passed as he stepped to the side of the bed and reached for my hand. A long sigh escaped his lips, and that’s when I noticed how drained he looked.
He was exhausted. He probably hadn’t slept at all since he found out I was here. “It’s all my fault.” He breathed, placing a kiss of the base of my wrist.
Did he think I was sleeping? I played along with it.
“It’s all my fault.” He said a little louder. “I should have never agreed, your too young for this and I can’t even protect you. It’s all my fault. God,” he was talking to himself, wasn’t he?
“How am I supposed to tell you what happened? What am I supposed to say?” He growled.
“Josh?” I asked, slowly letting my eyes flutter open. His serious face dropped into an expression I had never seen before. Slowly with his free hand he ran it across my cheek.
“I missed you,” he finally said. I gave him a soft smile. “You were gone less than a day.” I mentioned. He shook his head.
“That doesn’t mean I can’t miss you. I didn’t mean to wake you up, go back to sleep.” Josh said. I scanned his face for something but nothing turned up.
“I can’t,” he sighed, “without you.” I finished. I pulled his hand until he gave in and climbed onto the tiny bed with me. He carefully pulled the covers over us and laid.
I rolled to look over at him. “Josh, do you think you can just tell me what’s wrong?” His eyes met mine and he hesitated. Did I really want to know?
“Janet, I don’t think it’s a good idea,”
“I want to hear it from you, not some crumby doctor, Josh.” I was serious. Josh can break whatever this is news to me.
“You had a miscarriage and you might not be able to have another baby.” He rushed the words but the came out clear. I stopped breathing and stared him in the eye. I swallowed and stayed completely silent.
I knew if I said anything I would cry. So I just sat there in shock, staring at Josh. It killed me to know I lost my baby, and the fact that I might never be able to have one.
“What?” I managed to croak out. My voice was barely audible. My heart was pounding in my chest and I couldn’t breath. It felt like I was having a heart attack, and I could feel my wolf crying out.
He pulled me into his arms, and I put my head on his neck. “The doctor said the baby was too strong for you and it may have had permanent damage.” He breathed. Tears formed in my eyes and all too fast tears flowed like a river. God it was depressing.
My heart monitor started beeping at a faster rate and my heart pounded in my chest. All my dreams came crushing down. Every piece I had put up was falling apart. My whole world seemed to crumble around me.
He held me as I cried myself back to sleep.