“Olivia, isn’t that sophisticated?”
I take a look at my new passport. I took a new picture and I’m German this time around. Olivia Meyer is printed in bold next to my picture.
“I think the new name suits you,” Felix says, taking my hand.
We walk around the old city of Dresden. The ancient buildings stand tall despite being ancient. The intricate western architecture tells a story of its past, of its secrets. I’m at home here. Our hands swing as we walk forward.
We stop at a vendor selling Kartoffelpuffer. I call them potato hash browns cakes. Felix says that’s a disgrace. If I must call it something else, he says potato cakes will do.
He gets two for the both of us. I thank the kind elderly vendor before walking side by side with Felix. He spots an empty table next to a tall tree and he takes it. He pulls back my seat for me like the gentleman he is. After I sit, he makes it over to his side.
I’m so lucky to have this dork.
Felix is so handsome in this light. His earnest face. His intense charcoal eyes. That smug knowing smile. What more could I have asked for?
I sigh, taking a bite. The fluffy cake fills my mouth as I sit and ponder in this morning light.
I guess I did move on. Granted it wasn’t the way I expected. I got everything I wanted. I wanted a family. I have Axel, Lucas, and Victoria. They’re there for me at every step of the way. I am there for them and they’re there for me. I wanted a friend. I have Sofie. She’s been there for me since day one and she’s never left. I have Scarlet. I meet up with her every now and then. I wanted a purpose. Now, I work for Half-Blood Resources helping all of our kind and ghosts along the way. I wanted love. I have Felix. The biggest love I have ever experienced.
That old Anwen. She’s gone. Anwen’s family. They’re gone. Anwen’s Jason. He’s gone. Life moved on for them and Life moved on for me. That’s just the way it is and I accept it.
That doesn’t negate the fact I was scared. I was terrified before about moving on. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t tell myself not to be. Being scared is natural. I would only tell myself to trust the process. I would tell myself to leap without wondering what lies below.
Who knows, you might fly. You might soar. That’s what I would tell myself. Even if things went wrong, I know that if I kept on holding on to my crutches in my ghost state, I would’ve been miserable. I would never have even gotten the chance to have all of this.
Sure there are days where it’s beyond difficult. They are days where I feel like I’m the only one on the planet. Like, I’m the only one hurting. But I’m still here. I’m still kicking. My heart’s beating and that’s all that matters. It’s all okay. It’s all alright.
My mind drifts back to reality. Felix grins telling me some lame dirty joke. He laughs, throwing his head back. I can see the tops of his molar teeth as he slaps his knee. I gaze up at him full of love. I place my hand on him and I reassure myself with the clear truth.
It’s all going to be okay.
___
To tell you I choked up writing this would be the biggest understatement ever.
A/N and new story alert tomorrow. Yes, I’m insane.