~*~*~*~
I need a reason to love you, and it’s hard to believe that there is no other reason but this love. There is a lot left over inside this heart. Think that they say wisdom comes with age. However, pain is still felt because all the time I spent near you left its thread woven in me.
I learned the significance of a rose. You taught me how to tell white lies, so I could see you at improper hours, and to replace words with gazes. And, because of you, I wrote more than one hundred songs. I even forgave your mistakes.
~*~*~*~
Jolene
I was leaning against my brother on our flight back home, my heavy eyelids fluttering close and open as I fell asleep. Alex had accepted Matt’s request to join our pack; We had passed by his house to get some of his things, and Alex surprised everyone by extending the invitation to his whole family.
Kathe and Matt’s parents had been in tears. They had said that they were going to get ready to leave within the week. Matt insisted on coming with us today, saying he was tired of not being listened to by his friends. Apparently, he had tried to convince Lancelot to listen to me and not trust Chris but it was difficult since Chris had not left Lancelot’s side since last Sunday.
The slightly loud voices of the boys made my eyes flicker completely open. I stirred in my seat, smiling at the fact that Aiden and Matt were getting along. However, my brother did not take my being kept awake very well and glared at them, causing the guys to swallow hard and go quiet.
I smacked Alex’s chest. “It is only a two-hour flight anyway. Let them talk.”
The three stared at me with raised eyebrows and mouths wide open. Oh, right. After talking to Matt when he got in the car, I hadn’t said a word. It just took all of me to stop my tears from falling.
Besides sobbing slightly during the ride to the airport, I had held myself with a lot of poise and dignity.
“Drink some water. You need it since you have been crying a lot.” My brother as he offered me a water bottle.
I nodded and gulped down the water. By the time we had reached the airport, my eyes were all red and puffy, and my nose was running with the same intensity as my tears. It must not have been a pretty sight. It seems that wailing and sobbing loudly is not what regular people call hold yourself with poise and dignity.
Convincing the authorities in the airport that I was suffering a very bad case of heartbreak and not being coerced into this was an extraordinary feat. In the end, they believed me when I began crying and begging them to leave me alone and allow me to get on the plane. I also had cried because there was a line when I went to the restroom. I am a hot mess right now – “hot” being the operative word.
***
When we arrived at the city and walked out of the airport, instead of a taxi or a car waiting for us, freaking Alex had an ambulance ready. He is going all out with the worried big brother show.
“It is not a show Jolene. I am worried sick about you,” said Alex.
“Oops. Did I say that out loud?” I laughed.
“Yes, you did. Now get in the ambulance. Aiden will go with you to get checked, while the other boy and I take the car.”
“His name is Matt.” I corrected. Alex sucks at remembering names. I would know, it took him almost three months to stop calling me rogue girlie when we first met.
“Yeah, yeah. Get in,” Alex commanded.
***
It had been three hours since I was admitted to the hospital and I could feel Larentia returning. I was already writhing in pain in the hospital bed. The healing process was starting again. The doctors ordered me to not administer any drugs because they could affect the process.
A loud scream echoed through the room. Oh wait, that was me. I had my jaw clenched and involuntary tears were rolling down my cheeks. Alex was patting my head and whispering comforting bullshit like “everything is going to be alright, you are strong, just a little more.”
“I am dying over here, not giving birth! Shut the fuck up. This is awkward!” I yelled.
He went quiet and his face blanched. “Is giving birth that painful?” he asked.
I was panting and still squirming. “How do you expect me to know?” I groaned and hissed. “But they say it is.”
He visibly winced. “Oh…” he said.
“Why the inter- Give me the tray!” I could feel the vomit burning my throat.
He quickly passed me the aluminum tray and I proceeded to puke my guts out – quite, literally; Everything that was coming out was blood.
“Should I call the exorcist?” asked Alex probably thinking he is soo funny.
I glared at him. Why did I even allow him to be here? He was the only person allowed in my room; I did not want anyone else to see me like this.
‘Jolene?’
My eyes filled with tears when I heard the weak voice in my mind. Another wave of nausea came with it. Thankfully, Alex had made himself useful and changed the blood filled tray for a bucket.
‘Larentia. I missed you so much.’
I was only answered with whimpers. ‘I am sorry our mate did that. Please forgive me for this pain. I will heal you,’ were the only things she said before going to the back of my mind.
The vomiting stopped but the pain intensified. So, this is the infamous rejection pain? It felt as if my bones were being drilled from the inside. I stopped squirming and tried to not move even a finger. I had to take short shallow breaths because it felt as if needles were digging in my heart and lungs, and about every other part of my body.
I was falling in and out of slumber while Alex freaked out telling me to not follow the light. Really? Am I looking that bad? A small painful smile tugged at my lips. I wanted to tell him to shut up again, but I was too short of breath. Finally, I doctor walked into the room and told him to calm down and leave me alone.
And that was how my week in the hospital started.