I had taken off my work clothes and was now pacing through my living room in an old t-shirt and some sleeping shorts. My stomach was in knots and I felt like throwing up.
If he asked me how my day went? Fine. If he asked me if how things went with Edmund? Fine. If he asked me if Edmund tried anything.
Would I lie?
I didn’t want to lie, but I also didn’t want Preston to leave.
“What the fück do I do,” I asked my apartment and of course, I didn’t get a response.
Maybe I could take tomorrow off and ask Preston to as well and we could spend the night and then the day together.
But, no… I had to be at work tomorrow to have Mr. Emerson sign the contract.
The phone started ringing and my stomach dropped.
“Hello?” I tried my make my voice sound as if everything was fine and dandy.
“Hey, Kitten. How was your day?” I didn’t realize how much I missed his voice.
I smiled and instantly felt better, “It was fine, but it’s better now.”
I heard him chuckle, “I’m glad to hear that. Edmund didn’t give you too much trouble, did he?”
I sucked in a ragged breath, “No, not too much,” Fück, I was lying already and we hadn’t even been on the phone for more than two minutes!
“I missed you today,” I heard the smile in his voice and felt butterflies in my stomach.
“I missed you too, Preston, so fucking much.”
“It sounds like you could use me right now,” and honestly if he only knew.
“I could,” I whispered.
“Well, I have a surprise for you.”
I heard a knock at the door and I got up from the couch, “Sorry, babe. There’s someone at the door, hang on.”
“Okay, Kitten,” he chuckled.
I opened the door and there he stood, cell phone still to his ear, same as mine.
“Surprise,” he smiled and I heard it through the phone as well.
I immediately jumped into his arms, “Why are you here?”
He chuckled and walked us into the apartment and closed the door.
He set his phone on the counter and rubbed my back, “I missed you today and I needed to see you so I decided to leave work early and fly in.”
I pulled back and smiled, “I’m so glad you did. I didn’t realize how much I needed to see you today.”
I bit my lip as I stared into his amber eyes. He was smiling brightly with his teeth showing and he was beautiful. The gleam in his eyes said he was happy to see me and I felt a lump in my throat.
I felt like throwing up as I was reminded of what happened today. Preston didn’t deserve for me to be a slut behind his back, and for his brother of all people.
He deserved for me to want him and only him and that was easy to do when Edmund wasn’t around.
It was like I was two different people.
For Edmund, I was in constant need of attention, I needed his lips on mine, his hands on my body. I needed his harsh words and his punishments. I needed him to be the dominating person he had grown to be for me.
For Preston, I was playful and easy going and I craved his affection. He made me feel at peace and so serene. Being with his was easy and he was stable.
I liked both sides of myself for different reasons.
I couldn’t help but want Edmund’s rough hands but Preston’s soft heart.
“So, you had a bad day? Did something happen?”
My heart stopped. I couldn’t lie to him any further.
“Yes,” I whispered as I looked down.
I pushed away from him and he set me back down on my feet.
“What happened, Kitten,” he asked as he cupped my face in his large hands.
“We kissed,” I whispered again.
He dropped his hands and took a step back, “What?”
I looked up and the look on his face was something I never wanted to see again.
“Preston, please. You have to understand that Edmund and I have a history. It’s not easy to just be around him for eight to 12 hours every day and not feel something there.”
“And you kissed him back?” His face was hard and disappointment was heavy in his voice.
I nodded and instantly felt ashamed, as I should be.
Preston was a sweet guy and I was hurting him for the sake of …of what? A quick fuck against a desk or in a cramped car?
I could possibly be hurting the love of my life right now and it was all for some dick? Because let’s be real, Edmund would never commit to me.
“Did anything else happen?”
I turned away from him and walked further into my apartment and stared out the window down at the city street.
“Yes,” I said.
I was easier to admit these things when I didn’t have to look at him. I didn’t need to see the hurt on his face to know that I had fücked up. I felt it already.
“Did you fück him,” he asked and I was reminded of the fact that Edmund had asked that very same question this morning.
“No, Preston, I didn’t sleep with him,” my hands were shaking as I waited for the next question.
“So, what happened?”
I sighed, “Some second base stuff.”
I heard him sigh, “Is that it?”
“He punished me.”
“And you let him, Carnelian,” he asked as his voice rose, “Why didn’t you safe word him?”
“Because I didn’t want to at the time,” I exclaimed back as I turned around.
“I wanted to feel his rough hands on my body, Preston. I wanted him to pull my hair and choke me. I wanted him to spank me and call me his princess because I’m a slut for that shit! That’s one of the reasons I even began the relationship with him!
I need to be dominated or I get restless. I need you to be rough with me or I will give in to him because he is! I hate that I’m like this, but I told you time and time again this weekend that he had a pull on me and you still chose to be with me!”
I laid it all out for him. I would need more or I would find it elsewhere.
“So you want me to be like him then? You want me to keep you a secret and then get someone else pregnant? You want to be treated like a whore?”
I laughed in disbelief, “No, Preston, don’t be stupid. I don’t want to be kept a secret and I don’t want you to get someone pregnant, but yeah, I want you to treat me like a slut.
Push me against a wall and fuck me hard. Pull my hair and slap me in the face. Tie me up and whip me until I can’t sit, but don’t hold it against me when I go seeking it somewhere else because you won’t.”
“I didn’t fück you this weekend because I was waiting for you! I could’ve pounded you into eternity at your parent’s house. I could’ve had you in the pool and in your room, but I didn’t because I respected you and I respected them! You think Edmund would’ve waited? Fück, no!”
“And I wouldn’t want him to! He would’ve given me what I want and then he would’ve given me what I wanted today! I need that, Preston and I want it with you, but if you aren’t up to the task then you leave me no choice.”
He was silent for a moment. His face was hard and he was looking into my eyes.
I felt bad for yelling at him when all I wanted to do what lay in my bed and kiss him until I couldn’t breathe.
“So, you’ll just leave me because I haven’t slept with you? I’ve only known you for like three days,” he said harshly and It made me flinch.
“So, fuck me, Preston. Show me that you’re better for me than he is like I keep telling him!”
“You talked about me with him?”
“Yes! I fought hard today for you! I told him over and over that you were better for me and I know you are, but I need more from you. You claim that you’re a Dominant? Well, then show me. Punish me for giving in so easily to him.”
His face hardened, “You want me to whip you?”
“Yes!”
He walked up to me then and placed his hand around my throat and squeezed, “Yes, what, slut?”
“Yes, Daddy.”