//TW: SH
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I am in shock.
I am in more shock than that time when those humans saw me on that street. Felix is downstairs making preparations for me to move on at the beach in Sellin, Germany. He is making all these moves and even packed the car so we can have a road trip there. He said it would be better to take our time, but can I even move on?
I want to be one-hundred percent sure that I am alive before I tell him. Felix is somewhere in the kitchen cooking up a storm. The trip is going to be five hours and he says he’s allergic to fast food. He says the grease goes straight to his pores.
This is the best time to see if I am really alive. I take my hand and cover my mouth and nose. Usually, I would have infinite breath. The longest I held my breath was two weeks ago. I forgot to breathe for the entire day. So, I will try again now. It starts like usual. I don’t feel anything at all. Soon, there is a burning sensation in the center of my chest. I begin to jolt as my body wants more air, oxygen. I am forced to take a breath. Okay, so that’s the first test. I passed that one.
I glance at the razor in my hand. Now for the second one. My mind flashes back to that day at the library.
I winced, pulling my hand back from a book. My finger had a deep cut embedded into it. No blood emitted from my cut and it smoothed over in milliseconds.
As a ghost, you can feel pain and you can get hurt but it’s always reversed. The wounds you get as a ghost are never permanent. It always smooths over and you always remain the same. I take the sharp edge of the blade and I press down on my palm until warm red liquid comes forth. I stare at it as it runs down my wrist and onto the floor.
I am alive.
But how? When? Why? Where? I have so many questions. I have to tell Felix. I turn to walk out of the hall. When I reach the living room and the kitchen area, a loud ring vibrates throughout the house. No one has ever used the doorbell for the three months that I’ve been here. It comes as a surprise to Felix too.
He puts down the bell peppers and undoes his apron to answer the door. I hold my palm close to my chest and get one of the bandages from the first aid kit Felix left on the table next to the couch from last night. I wrap my palm when Felix answers the door.
A sob can be heard from the other side of the door. Felix is frozen again as he peers at the person from the other side. I make my way to a place where I can see who is on the other side of the door. I am more than surprised to see that overgrown fairy girl. What was her name again?
Scarlet. Yes, that’s who it was. She looks awful. Her eyes and nose are red from crying and her shoulders droop. How did she know where we live though? This is all very confusing to me.
“I remember you Death. I remember everything,” Scarlet manages through sobs. “I knew we knew each other but it didn’t click until last week. I found our old diary and pictures and I remembered everything. Everything,”
Still, Felix doesn’t move. He doesn’t speak. He just stands there staring at Scarlet.
“Can we talk?” Scarlet says, wiping her nose with her sleeve.
Felix begins to shake his head but Scarlet presses him. “Please, just a conversation. Please,”
I stand here like an intruder. Like I’m witnessing something I am not supposed to.
Felix eventually steps aside. “Okay, but we have to make it quick. I have to leave in an hour,”
“Okay, Okay! That’s fine,” Scarlet says. She steps into the house and our eyes meet immediately. She stares at me quizzically before she pieces together where she saw me last. “You live together?”