Chapter 35: Reality (Indie’s POV)
“I love you.”
I blinked numerous times, just staring at him. I was almost dizzy. Almost. “You what?”
“I love you, Indie,” he repeated. No Indigo either.
“You… love me?”
He nodded.
I pushed him off. “Wabara, are you crazy? Is this a game to you? One day you love me and then the next day you don’t. What are you doing? What are you trying to do?”
“No, I love you, Indie. I swear I do. I didn’t want to, but I do.”
I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “You didn’t want to but you do,” I repeated.
“Indie, listen to me, please?”
“I am listening!”
“Everything I told you when you said you liked me was true. I still think that way. But I’m willing to try.”
“Suddenly?”
“Yes, suddenly,” he said sternly. “Because when I thought about you going to Hawaii for the summer and not seeing you until three months later, I hated it! I hated that thought, I hated the fact that I couldn’t see you for three fucking months. And if I wanted to see you, I would have to fly over there, which, undoubtedly, I would, Indie. I fucking would.”
I felt my eyes and expression soften, I felt myself slowly giving in.
“If you were already gone by the time I got here today, I would have flown over to Hawaii and found you. That’s exactly why I asked you where you would be. Because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to stay without you. I fucking love you. And that reality crashed down on me today.”
“Why today? Because I was leaving? Is that it?”
“Indie.”
“Wabara,” I said mockingly.
“It’s the truth.”
“It’s the reality you want to believe. You just want a good lay, don’t you? A steady one? And it’s me because you know I won’t leave you because I love you. You’re taking advantage of my feelings!”
“I’m not, I swear I’m not! Look, all I could think about today was that if I can’t even go a few days without this girl, then how could I go three months? And if I can’t even go three months then how the fuck can I go through the rest of my life without you? How can I stay away from you for that long without it killing me?” He sighed, pulling me closer. “It’s not just the reality I want to believe,” he said, his voice coming out much softer now. “It’s the truth. I fucking love you.”
He blinked a few times and I noticed the glassing over his eyes. I noticed tears. Like the night I did when I told him I liked him, like the night I found him drunk on the rooftop. I know I probably shouldn’t forgive him and accept it so easily. But I can’t bring myself to refuse him. I love him. And if I refuse him now it’ll just be a waste of time because we both know eventually, I’ll come around and I’ll want him more than I ever have before. I already do, for fuck’s sake.
“Please, forgive me, Indie?” He shifted anxiously. “Please?”
I sighed, looking away from him.
“Indigo,” he sighed.
I looked back at him, resisting the urge to cry. “I hate you,” I said, my voice and breathing both shaky.
“If you tell me to go, I will,” he nodded, taking in a breath and composing himself.