Jolene and Alexander were now in Jolene’s living room glaring and growling lowly at each other.
“Take your stuff and get out of my apartment!” said Jolene.
Xander’s eyes softened.
“Jolene, please… Let’s talk this out.”
“You want to talk? Fine, talk! Tell me why are you acting like a jealous jerk?”
“Because I care about you. If it was any other girl I would not mind, but you are important to me.”
Jolene scoffed. “Yeah. Yeah. Get out,” she said signaling to the door and waving her hand.
“I am not leaving until we talk!” Alexander reached for her hand but she shoved his hand away.
“What were we doing just now? Singing?”
“Don’t begin with your sarcasm. I do not want to leave you angry with me.”
“What I feel did not seem to matter when you dragged me out of the club even though you were flirting with other girls.”
“You began when you decided to dance in that dress in front of all those guys! You cannot have possibly missed how they were looking at you and then you were touching another man. How was I supposed to act? It is enough having to compete with your mate.”
“You should have let me do whatever I wanted. I was just dancing! Do I have to hide and not have fun because you get jealous? That is ridiculous. You are not even my boyfriend.”
Alexander’s eyes darkened and he lowered his gaze. “It is not like that, Jolene.”
“Then, how is-” Jolene shook her head and raised her voice. “You know what? Just leave already.”
“I already told you. I am not leaving like this. Let’s talk.”
Jolene sighed. “If we are going to talk, let’s do it right. Be completely honest with me and I will be honest with you.” Since he refused to leave anyway, Jolene decided to take the chance to find out something that had been bugging her for the longest time.
Xander stayed silent and nodded.
“Tell me your name, rank, pack… and age.”
“My name is Alexander Hunter. I am the Alpha of the Blood River Pack… I am thirty-three years old.”
Jolene scoffed. She already knew that much. As a Beta she had memorized the information of the Alphas and Betas from all packs across the country; She was in the process of learning about other packs around the world.
“Answer the same question,” said Xander.
“I am Jolene Amores, Beta of the Silver Fang Pack, and I am twenty-two. Why did you lie about your age?”
“Because you are much younger, you could not get accurate information about me even if you tried. When I met you, I wanted you to get to know me, not my title. I did not expect you to be the Beta from a rival pack.”
He already suspected that she was the Beta of the Silver Fang pack since she mentioned that she was an unmated Beta. He had heard about her. She ‘negotiated’ with other packs and even with rogues, either by enticing them or by force; She always obtained what she wanted. Alexander considered her set of skills to be valuable but disliked her defiant behavior. He was raised to be a traditionalist and she was a deviant from every norm he had been taught. She is an accomplished warrior in his eyes, but she would not make a good Luna. However, he could not let her go without a fight. “Now, I feel like I can trust you even more.” She crossed her arms and raised one eyebrow.
Alexander covered his face with one hand and chuckled nervously as he shook his head. “This is why I am not a fan of honest talks.”
“Well, it must suck to be you right now.”
“Not really. I am with you right now. That boy is becoming much more than a small nuisance in my life. I am the luckiest man.” He kissed one lock of her hair and scowled.
“You smell like him,” he said and sighed. “Jolene, I really like you. I will do it if you want me to change for you.”
Jolene clicked her tongue and looked away. It bothered her when people said they would change as if it was just flipping a switch and magically fixing themselves. If only, she thought.
“So now you say that. Before, you said a very different thing.”
“I have been thinking a lot. I do not want this to end. I had never been as happy as these couple of months I have been talking to you. I do not want to live without you for the rest of my life.”
Jolene cupped his cheeks. She stared at his wide eyes. “How many girls? How many girls have you slept with since we met?”
Alexander’s eyebrows raised tried to avert his gaze but she was right in front of him. “I do not know.” His voice was lower than a murmur. He was not lying. Alexander has been mateless for so long that one night stands had become just another way to spend his free time.
Jolene took a step back. “Then, why do you keep talking as if you want something serious? We could have been just friends since the beginning.”
Alexander pulled her into a hug. “Don’t say that. Jolene, I love you. I was not lying before; I can change for you.”
She pulled away and stared at him in silence.
“You have a very strange way of showing it: lying to me, sleeping with other girls, and humiliating me in public,” she said.
“I am really sorry. I will never do that ever again. I want you, only you. Let me prove it. I cannot bear the idea of you belonging to someone else.”
Xander leaned over Jolene. She noticed him staring at her lips and turned her head away. Hurt flashed through his eyes.
“Why?” he asked.
“He is not going to reject me,” she whispered. “You asked me to be your mate if he rejected me. It does not make sense doing this now.”
“Are you really going to walk away from everything we could have? You want me to think that everything meant nothing?” Alexander asked, his Alpha voice slipping through.
Jolene looked away in silence.
“Let me guess. You want us to be best friends now? Like nothing ever happened?”
Jolene shook her head no. “I am not that cruel. It is up to you.”
Alexander chuckled. In his eyes, her giving him ‘the choice’ of being her friend or forgetting about her was like letting him choose his own poison.
Alexander took her hands in his. “If it is up to me, I want you to be mine, and only mine and I will be yours.”
“I cannot do that. Even if I did not have a mate, you and I are not a good match.” Jolene sighed.
“I cannot understand how can you be so blind. I am right in front of you, going crazy because of these feelings that I had never felt before.”
Jolene scoffed. “Sorry for not being nice and easy like your other girls.” Xander let go of her hands and paced across the room with his hands on his head.”I just want you to be with me. I am always here for you. How many times have I comforted you when he hurt you? How can you give him a chance and not me?”
“Do not go throwing things in my face now.”
“What will you do? Wait until he hurts you again and come back to me later? Is that what you pretend?”
“What I do then is my business.”
Xander took a step toward her and cupped her cheeks. “I asked if you planned to return once he breaks your heart? Because if you do… You just need to say it. I will wait and wait until you realize you belong with me.” He blinked repetitively but some tears spilled from his eyes anyway. Jolene wiped them away with her thumbs.
“What makes you think that I do not belong with him?” She looked down, not bearing to see the sad expression on Xander’s face.
“Would you ever have set your eyes on him if he was not your mate? What you feel is your wolf, your instincts. You do not love him.”
“It is like that for almost every mated couple. The bond let us know who the person the Moon Goddess made for us is. I would love him no matter what.”
“In your mind, you know he will not make you happy.”
“That is none of your business.”
Xander sighed and massaged his temples. “I am tired. I am not arguing with you anymore.” He walked away, slumped down on the couch and closed his eyes.
Jolene sat on the edge of her bed with her head between her arms.
“Don’t worry. I am leaving in a moment,” said Xander as he walked to the bathroom.
A text message for Jolene arrived. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and smiled when she saw who the sender was.
Lancelot 2:30 AM: Jolene Bella. How are you?
Jolene: I am good, and you? What are you up to? 🙂
Lancelot: Happy that you answered. I was reading a little bit. What about you?
Jolene: You read? 😮 I was about to go to sleep.
Lancelot: Yes, I read >:( I was reading ‘House’ by Ted Dekker.
Jolene: I love the ending of that book. Want some free spoiler? 3:)
Lancelot: You wouldn’t. That would be just evil.
Jolene was still giggling when the bathroom door opened. Alexander came out of the bathroom and stared up at her.
“Why are you smiling at your phone?”
“I was deciding whether to be evil and spoiler some book to Lancelot or not,” she said. “Have you read ‘The House’?”
Xander shook his head no. “When you have spent so much time reading and writing documents, policies and contracts as I do, reading does not become your to go hobby.” He sat at the edge of the bed next to her.
“Oh, I understand. Then what do you do in your free time besides pack matters?” asked Jolene.
“I cannot give you an honest answer without stirring even more drama,” he said without meeting her gaze.
“Oh,” Jolene whispered before returning to her phone. She grinned as she read the message that had just arrived.
Lancelot: I really hope you are not doing something completely wicked like writing down the whole end of the book in a text message.
Jolene: Oops. Busted!
Lancelot: Don’t you dare!
“Xander…” “Choose me, Jolene.”
Jolene lowered her gaze.
He let go of her and covered his face with his hands. “You’re already acting so different.” He stood up. “I’ll visit you again soon.” He placed a kiss on her forehead and left.
After he walked out of the door, Jolene took a deep breath. She locked the door, took a shower and brushed her teeth.
Jolene lied down on her bed and went back to her phone.
Jolene 3:45 AM: I would never do that to you 🙂
Lancelot: I thought you had fallen asleep.
Jolene: I hope it was that easy for me. I am a night owl. I only sleep early when I am in a bad mood.
Lancelot: Noted… Did you talk to that guy?
Jolene: We talked…
Lancelot: He is staying at your apartment, isn’t he?
Jolene: How do you know?
Lancelot: You smelt a little like him and I heard him that day when you were on the phone.
Jolene: That day… He already left. I told him what I had to say. Goodnight, Lancelot.
Lancelot: Are you going to sleep?
Lancelot: Are you mad at me?
Jolene: No.
She put her phone on her night table and laid on her side bringing her knees to her chest. Each time she remembered ‘that day’ she felt stupid for even talking to him. He had kissed and touched another girl.
He didn’t care that I was there, even after he had been hugging me and even sniffing me the day before. Now, he is probably just afraid of losing his mate.
She knew she had to let go and move on if she wanted to even have a chance with her mate. However, as much as she repeated it to herself, she could not do so easily. She hated that aspect of herself, the remorseful, vengeful side. “Tomorrow when I wake up, this feeling would be gone,” she repeated to herself until she fell asleep.