Jolene
November 30,
I was sipping cold water as I rested from the physical therapy. I felt accomplished. That day, I could finally walk independently without losing my footing or staggering. It might seem small, but I knew it was a step closer to being myself again.
“Don’t sip Jolene. That gives you gases.” Oliver said in his usual stern voice.
Oh, yes. He was here sitting next to me on the couch. We were in the room my brother had kindly adapted for my physical therapy. Last time I saw him, he was freaking out about how to change a diaper. Ha! Poor him.
“My water. My gases. My business,” I said sipping some more water while keeping my gaze on Oliver. Yes. Oliver is nice, but also very serious. I am all talkative and messy, and he is so proper and quiet. People used to say that we were like a comedy show.
“As you wish. Did you finish any of the books I gave you last week?” He chuckled softly and ran his fingers through a lock of my hair.
I put his hand on his lap and gave him a nasty look. I have always been kind of mean with Oliver, so I did not want us to be friends at the beginning. He could misunderstand. However, after spending so much time together, we have become somewhat close again.
“I finished all of them. You only gave me three. Okay, maybe we have become good friends again. I’ve gotten a lot of free time,” I said, hinting that I want more books.
“What do you think?” he asked a little bit too excited.
“I loved them. Thank you,” I said honestly. He had given me ‘Firestarter’ by Stephen King, ‘Adam’ by Ted Dekker, and ‘Three Lifetimes’ by Kerbasi.
“I am glad,” he said smiling. “Which one was your favorite?”
“Three Lifetimes. It is not a professional book, but it was so beautiful.”
I was swooning over that book to be honest. A couple had to live three completely different lifetimes in different worlds as different people. Still, they always found each other and fell in love. It was touching.
“I knew you would prefer that one!” He pointed his index finger at me and smirked.
I put my hands up as in defeat. “You know I am a sucker for sappy dramas. I love love!” I gave him a silly smile.
He chuckled and cupped my cheeks. “I know that very well, mi corazón.” He put his forehead against mine and looked me at the eye. His breath fanning over my mouth.
I stiffened and averted my gaze. We had been doing so well keeping the boundaries and just having small light talk. These things were exactly why I did not want to be “friends” with him.
He let go of my face and peered at my eyes. “Sorry. Force of habit, Jolene.”
He was still too close, but he did not seem to mind. Lately I have become more aware of his presence than when we were dating. It was a strange feeling, as if something was growing between us.
“Get out…” I whispered.
“What?”
“Get out of here!” I yelled.
“Jolene. That was a mistake.”
“No. It was a mistake to let you get close to me these months. We both know how this is going to end. I love him! I do not want to hurt you anymore.” “I am a grown up. I know what will happen, but it does not matter, because I love you and only you.”
“If you are not leaving, I will.” I growled and stood up, my legs wobbling as I balanced myself.
He quickly stood up and moved one hand toward my lower back.
“Don’t you dare touch me,” I said giving him a pointed look.
“I promise I won’t touch you.”
Yeah, another promise. I began walking toward the infirmary that was just next door. I would like to say that I didn’t need his help, but halfway there I lost my footing and would have fallen if he had not caught me. He lifted me in bridal style.
“That is enough. You are too tired for this.”
I kept my head low and stayed quiet. He gently placed me on the bed and turned around. “Have a good night, Ms. Amores,” he said before leaving the room.
I pulled my legs up against my chest and began crying and sobbing loudly, feeling completely deflated. I could not do it. I could not walk by myself.
Some warm arms enveloped me.
“Some things never change. Eh, Mandy?” I smiled and put my hand on her arm.
She grinned and nuzzled up against my shoulder.
I sniffled. “I feel so weak. I cannot believe I can walk without needing someone to catch me. What am I? A toddler?” I blew my nose in my top. “I just hate this. I hate having to depend on others, not being able to do anything or even leave the house on my own two feet.”
“You are getting better really fast. You just need a little more balance,” she said.
I wiped my tears off with the back of my hand. “Oliver is attentive, and it just makes me so mad that he thinks we could ever go back to what we had.” I sniffled again. “And I cannot even walk away from him without his help. I feel useless,” I whispered.
“Is that why you have not tried to contact your mate?” Mandy asked, her voice so soft that it sounded like she was cooing.
“Look at me. I cannot walk, much less run. I cannot work or fight until I get better. My mate is an eighteen-year-old, who showed me how much he still needs to grow up the last time I saw him. What am I going to call him for? So, he feels that he has to halt his life to take care of me? Please, Mandy.”
“But you need him,” she said.
“I do, and that is the problem. How can I be okay with someone when I am not alone? Love is not supposed to fix people. People are supposed to fix themselves to love. We both have so much to fix about ourselves.”
She rubbed my shoulder. “But you can help each other out. He can support you and you can help him learn from his mistakes and grow up.”
I shook my head. How can I make her understand? Love is not a magical energy that can repair anything. That is some Disney nonsense. I am not telling that to a sixteen years old, though.
“I want him to mature on his own, and at his own pace, not because I am there pressuring him into becoming an adult. I made a mistake before. I should have left as soon as I realized he was my mate, so he could live peacefully. I could have given him time to find out what he wanted, but I didn’t. I was selfish.” I took a deep breath and wiped off the remaining tears. “How is your love live going?” I asked trying to distract myself from my own drama.
A shy smile appeared across her face. “Good, I guess.”
I looked at her knowingly giving him a wide smile of my own. “How good?” I teased.
“Well, you know we had been talking and everything and he had apologized for what he said. We have been spending so much time together. He is so sweet and we even…” She blushed and looked away.
“You even?” I asked. Gosh this girl is killing me with all the intrigue.
“We even held hands for the first-time last week!” She said taking a pillow in her hands and burying her face.
“Oh my! you held hands… For the first time… Just after eleven months of finding out you are mates.” I squealed a clapped my hands like retarded seal. “So scandalous!” I pulled her into a tight hug.
She shrieked in my arms. “I know! I was so embarrassed!” she said.
Elena walked in the room holding baby Chase in her arms. “My favorite girls are meeting behind my back. So, hurt right now,” she said.
“Amanda right here was comforting me because of Oliver again.”
She shook her head disapprovingly and sat on the couch by my bed. “Oh, I told your mother it was a bad idea,” she said. “But I also had said that a sexy doctor would be a good motivation.”
“Elena!” I said hitting the bed. I would have thrown a pillow at her, but she was holding the future and hope of our pack in her arms, my gorgeous nephew.
“What? I had no idea she would agree to have a human doctor treat you. I thought she would choose one of the hot werewolf doctor.”
“Not helping your case.”
“A little eye candy always makes me feel better.” She winked at me.
“Shut up and give me little Chase. He looks like he needs my love right now.”
I spent the rest of the afternoon playing with Chase and talking to the girls. Chase is such a sweetheart.