Jolene
My eyes flew open and I sat on the bed squinting my eyes as I inspected my surroundings. I exhaled the breath that I was holding and tried to lower my ragged breathing. I glanced at the clock, 5:30 AM. It is always like this whenever I sleep in a new room. I blame Anthony for this. The first couple of months during my training he would terrorize every night for as long as six days every time we visited a different location, so I would learn to never get too comfortable in a place I’m not used to.
Lancelot’s arm was still draped around my hips. He was lying on his belly, quietly snoring with a small smile. He looked so peaceful. I sighed knowing that there was no way that I would go back to sleep again. I took my cell phone from the nightstand by my side and lied back down. Lancelot cuddled closer to me.
I was annoyed about what had happened early. Yes, we both wanted it, but it felt like he was trying to get everything his way. It was difficult to stay angry with this pull telling me that I need him more than I need air to live. I will see how he acts later today.
I deleted the notifications of all the missed calls from my father. He knows what he did. I can’t be fighting more than one person at a time. Too much drama. I texted Anthony, but when I told him about the small dictatorship he has going on here, he only told me to talk to Lancelot because he is my mate. He will for sure listen to me.
I am so bored. I tried to slide away from Lancelot’s grasp, but he growled and pulled me closer, resting his face against my hair. Help, I’m trapped. Surprisingly, I found myself dozing off as the contact with my mate helped me relax. I smiled. Our bond is getting stronger.
After he woke up, he helped me sort some of my things out. He insisted that we share the room; honestly, I wanted the same thing. If things go wrong I can always move to a different one. He had made me space in his closet and bathroom vanity. I gave him some books I always carry around when I travel.
***
After having breakfast, we met Samuel and Chloe and shifted into our wolves. I still didn’t talk to Samuel, but I knew I would probably give in soon. He kept apologizing through the mindlink, so much that I had to block him.
We ran across the woods that surrounded the territory. Lancelot showed me the cameras and traps near the pack limits. Everything looked right, except for the pack members. I could literally smell the fear from every warrior we crossed paths with. They kept their heads low in front of us and their tails between their legs. Lancelot would growl at them for no reason.
After checking the limits, it was time to train. I joined for the two-hour run but decided to not join the rest training, so I could see in detail what it was all about. We all stayed in our wolf’s forms.
I don’t think I would have been prepared for what I saw. This wasn’t training. It was pure cruelty. He made weaker warriors fight the most skilled warriors by time, meaning they couldn’t give in. So, even after they were down the other warrior would have to attack them until the time was up.
I could feel the terror from all the pack members through the mindlink. I stared at Lancelot. How can he be so calm? He looked back at me and waved his tail. I mentally scoffed. “Lancelot. They are getting hurt. This is barbaric. Stop it.”
He growled at me and didn’t answer anything.
I could have cried right there. My chest hurt and a knot formed in my throat.
He came to me and licked my face. “I am sorry Jolene. We’ll talk about this later.”
Really? Oh boy, we are talking. If he doesn’t change this, I am challenging tomorrow.
Once Lancelot was done tormenting his pack we made our way back to the Alpha house. Lancelot and I had lunch. I refused to look at him in the eye.
Lancelot cupped my hand and I pulled it away. He whimpered.
“Are you angry, Jolene? You have been acting weird since we left the Alpha house in the morning. If it is because of last nigh-”
“Seriously Lancelot? Last night? Don’t make me start. Let me eat in peace.”
He went quiet and spend the rest of the meal lost in thought. I could almost see the ideas running in front of him as if he was trying to add up all the facts to piece together a big puzzle. I rolled my eyes. It shouldn’t be difficult to figure out why I am mad at him. He is as dense as always.
I finished eating and stood up. “I will be waiting for you in your office.”
I walked to his office as I tried to organize my ideas. If he had mistreated me, it would have been easier to know what to say. But, he just acts like a jerk when it is something regarding the pack. I tried to calm down as I smelled his scent get closer.
Lancelot walked into the room downcast with his hands in his pockets. He looked just like a kid about to be scolded. He is so cute — No Jolene! Focus! He looked at me drawing his lower lip between his teeth and knitting his eyebrows together.
‘He is adorable,’ Larentia said.
‘Not helping. Not helping at all.’
She snickered and went to the back of my mind.
“Jolene, I am really sorry.” Lancelot took my right hand in his and tried to kiss it.
I pulled my hand back. “What are you apologizing for?”
“I growled to you earlier. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“And…” I motioned him to continue.
“And…” “And… I’m sorry about yesterday?” Lancelot’s eyebrows knitted together as he tried to determine what to answer.
“Forget yesterday! And…?”
“Should I really forget it? Do you want me to act like it didn’t happen?” Lancelot tilted his head to the side.
I groaned and facepalmed. “I didn’t mean that.”
“Then what?”
I had never seen him look so confused. It was sad, hilarious and infuriating at the same time. “I meant that I am not mad for anything you did yesterday.”
“You liked it.” He smirked but quickly coughed to cover his gesture and put back a serious face. “Please tell me what I did wrong.”
It is worrisome that he can’t figure that out by himself. “Do you remember what you told me yesterday?”
“Jolene, please don’t stop?” He badly attempted to hide his smirk.
I looked away and covered my smile with a hand. I hate him!
‘No, you don’t.’ Larentia laughed.
‘You go back, or I will block you out again!’
Lancelot gave me a sly smile, looking all relaxed. “Or was it when I said: Oh my fuc-”
“Stop! You will not bullshit your way out of this one.”
His eyes widened and his pointed at himself. “Bullshit my way out?”
“Yes! What do you think you have been doing? Since yesterday I have been trying to talk you about the pack. Still, as soon as I mention anything that contradicts your little dictatorship complex you get angry but then say things like I will do whatever you want or we will talk later, but you don’t! You are lying in my face!”
“Oh, you think that I’m lying just because. Don’t you think I have a reason to not follow your advice?”
“And what is that great reason?”
“You tell me.”
“Don’t come with that shitty answer. Is this what you were talking about when you told me you wanted to spend every second of your life showing me how much you love me? Is this you being good to me?”
“Jolene… My heart is breaking… I am afraid of accepting your suggestions and having you act like my Luna just to be left all alone again.” His eyes softened.
“So, you don’t believe I want to be with you.”
“I know you want to be with me. But… Tell me, even if you decide to be with me as my mate. Are you going to stay here as my Luna?”
“What?”
He walked to his desk and opened a drawer.
“What are you-”
Lancelot pulled out a letter from the drawer –The letter the council had sent me. No…
“You went through my things?” I balled my hands into fists, my whole body trembling. I wasn’t sure if it was because of anger, fear or guilt.
His expression hardened. “No. It was inside one of the books you gave me to put in the bookcase. I was curious about how the council refers to other council members.”
“So, you read my letter without my permission.”
“Jolene. That is not the point.” He rubbed his temples.
“It is!”
“Okay! Get mad at me! But before that, please tell me what are you planning to do. Are you willing to give up your position in the council or just want to play to being mates for two months before leaving me forever? Tell me… Are you going to stay here as my Luna if you accept me as your mate?” Tears shone in his eyes.
He is hurting. “I…”
A/N: I will update again tomorrow! *Runs to her pile of leaves.*
You can stop reading here if you want to. The chapter is over.
*Seriously, the rest is me venting out frustration. The next chapter should be out soon.*
Story time: When I was in high school I was a nerd. But, I was kind of not really nice or shy. People often thought I was one of those problematic students who barely passed their classes (including many professors). The point is that once I was doing a mural all by myself because my classmates were too busy playing around and chasing each other. Then, this guy who had given nothing whatsoever to put in the mural came up to me and said: “that mural is looking ugly.” I put a hand on my hip, narrowed my eyes, and then said: “Then, why don’t you come and it yourself? Make yourself useful for once.” He scoffed and left mumbling how much of a bitch I was. Now you know how I deal with criticism in real life.
I do like it when people help me do things better, though. It makes me happy because I actually learn from those things. If there is a grammar error or a sentence that sounds confusing, I would be grateful if you point it out.
Sorry for the rant, I hate when people criticize without offering help. I never say anything back, though. I stick to “Be Nice, Be Respectful,” so I never comment if I know I will break that.